SPARK Volume 6 – Applying Connection as a Leader
It takes at least seven minutes to form a true Connection during a conversation. In an age where technology buzzes, pings, and interrupts us on a nearly continual basis, this finding by social psychologist Sherry Turkle inspires us to think about how we can practice Connection. She discusses conversation and gives us some ideas about how to make it happen in this podcast from the Note to Self series “Infomagical.”
What does it take to have a truly human, face-to-face interaction for seven minutes these days? Why seven minutes? It takes that long to get past the settling in – the initial chat – and really dig into the meat of the conversation.
As leaders, when we encourage our team members to truly Connect, and take the time to do it right, we create a Connection culture – a culture where Connections are sought after because they create valuable interactions. We know it’s not easy to remove all of the dings, mental distractions, and alerts urging us to read and reply. It seems so much easier to shoot off a quick note and be done with it. But creating human Connections opens the door to so much more – and is truly time well spent.
|Try having a full seven-minute, face-to-face conversation with someone - no phone, computer, or device - and discuss something you've recently heard, read, or watched. What is the hardest part about this exercise? What did you discover that you would have missed if you had Connected for only a minute or if you had been distracted by technology?|
The folks over at Google launched an extensive project – codename “Project Aristotle” – to determine the magic formula for teamwork. After years of intense analysis, they discovered the key is just plain ol’ “being nice.” It’s not so much about who is on the team, but about how team members interact, what kind of environment that creates, and how it fosters teamwork.
Google shows us the incredible importance of taking the time to understand others – finding a way to relate and then making yourself understood. In other words, making a Connection. With Project Aristotle, the Google team thought it would surely be the mix of people on the team that determined its success, and then they spent several years proving themselves “dead wrong.” To test the project’s findings, one Google manager hosted a team meeting to talk about his recent cancer diagnosis. Initially, everyone was silent then eventually they began sharing their own stories. The manager had created a safe environment where team members felt comfortable sharing and Connecting. Once everyone shares the belief that it’s safe to take risks and contribute ideas, that’s when the magic happens.
|How might we make Connections to create a sharing environment for our teams? How could we do a better job inviting people to Connect?|
When Experience Design expert and restaurateur Danny Meyer reopened his famous Union Square Cafe, he did so through the lens of Connection. Bridging the gap between dining and technology, Meyer partnered with a reservation system startup to create an Apple Watch app that pings every manager in the restaurant when there is a potential moment for service recovery. For example, if a menu item runs out in the kitchen, the managers can inform their guests ahead of time and provide them with an alternative suggestion so as not to disappoint.
This technology, aimed to enhance human Connections, also provides opportunities to create small moments of surprise and delight for diners; when the managers are pinged that the guests are signing their check, the host can retrieve their coats and have them ready when the guests exit.
If technology can create Connection in fine dining, how can it be applied to health care? We have so many opportunities to enhance the Connective Experience we create in our organizations – sometimes we just have to think outside the box.
|Brainstorm! What could an app be programmed to tell team members that might enhance their daily Experience? How could it be programmed to enhance the patient Experience?|
Connection. It’s the energy that ties you to a person, a place, a memory – a relationship to your work, to your team members, and to yourself. It is one of the most vital aspects of our existence.
When we use last month’s principle of Intention as a guide and decision filter, something powerful happens – we are connected to a greater whole. It’s no surprise then that, as we wrap up our focus on Intention, we transition to the principle of Connection.
As leaders, we are the connective tissue and the bridge between people, between ideas, and between possibilities. Understanding and creating a Connection across all of the disciplines in our organizations ensures that each individual piece fits into a greater whole—contributing to a better Experience for our team members, providers, patients, and guests.
Connection, by definition, requires an “other” – another person, another team, another goal we’re trying to reach. When we make the Connection and connect-the-dots, we are bridging the gap of the unknown. We are the glue.
Healing requires Connections—between doctors and patients, between patients and family members, between the many members of our care teams. These are the Connections that define our patients’ memories of their Experience with us—our people and our places. When their loved ones think of our organizations, they remember the way a caregiver took the time to make a connection — holding their loved one’s hands and guided them through their time of need.
|Write down the people and things you feel the strongest Connections with. What strengths are you bringing, and what sustenance are they providing you? How do you maintain this Connection over time?|
We LOVE this intense video by artist Marina Abramović. As part of a retrospective at the MoMA, Abramović created a live exhibit in which she sat and LOOKED into the eyes of a complete stranger without speaking for one uninterrupted minute. Strangers can form deep Connections with their eyes alone. What she didn’t know was that her former lover and fellow artist, Ulay, whom she hadn’t seen since the 1970s, was waiting to LOOK into her eyes again.
Without uttering a word, we can feel the sparks fly and the Connection crackle between Ulay and Marina, and this type of Connection has actually been scientifically proven. Researchers at Cornell University found that LOOKING into the eyes of another fosters a sense of Connection and “only actual eye contact fully activates those parts of the brain that allow us to more acutely and accurately process another person’s feelings and intentions.”
|*When we take a moment to truly see someone, we can understand the power of eye contact in making a Connection. Try it with your team. Pair off, LOOK into your partner's eyes, and see what kind of Connections you can make without words.|
This beautiful and powerful thank-you note and subsequent New York Times article brought us to tears. In October 2016, Peter DeMarco wrote an incredible letter about his wife, Laura Levis, after her passing. He vulnerably shared their Experience at Cambridge Hospital by way of a thank-you note to his wife’s care team. What he shared underlined the importance of how the team treated her family and him, the grieving, frightened, madly-in-love husband and also a Connection that might be overlooked: the way the care team allowed Peter to Connect with Laura.
“There is another moment – actually, a single hour – that I will never forget… when I returned, they [her nurses Donna and Jen] had shifted Laura to the right side of her bed, leaving just enough room for me to crawl in with her one last time. It was our last tender moment as a husband and wife, and it was more natural and pure and comforting than anything I’ve ever felt… I will remember that last hour together for the rest of my life. It was a gift beyond gifts, and I have Donna and Jen to thank for it.”
|Think of a time in your life that you made an incredibly powerful Connection. Did someone else help you make that Connection? How could you enable Connections for others in your everyday work?|
In 2018, Amazon opened its doors to a whole new way to shop showing us what LEADING for Experience is all about. Amazon Go, the first ever no-checkout convenience store uses the Amazon Go app to check in shoppers as they enter the store. It is an example of Connection at its best–connecting to the convenience of what consumers want. You simply walk around, take what you want, and walk out. No one chases after you because AI algorithms track you and everything you pick up and keep. If you put something back, cameras track that too. When you leave, the app simply charges your Amazon account for whatever is in your bag. Amazon Go is truly flipping the industry on end and changing the way they Connect with customers with this cutting-edge, highly orchestrated Experience. We can’t wait to see what’s next.
How long does it take for an Intention to really manifest? Staying true to your personal or organizational Intention – and using that Intention as a decision filter and guide – isn’t easy. In our fourth Spark, we explore new dimensions of this Experience principle. Putting Intention into action takes time and requires continuous focus, effort, and attention. Using Intention as your guide is like creating a new habit. Studies show that it takes from 18 days to more than 18 weeks to truly create change or forge a new practice or habit . With time, using Intention as your North Star and organizational guide becomes second nature and makes it easier to create meaningful and memorable moments for team members, providers, patients, and guests.